March 25

I have know Ariel O’Hannigan since we were ten. I was the new girl and she ended up calling my friends at the time for mistreating me. She “took me under her wing” and the rest, as they say, is history. It honestly didn’t take me very long for us to become friends; Ariel had no problem telling you what she thought of you and I always pulled punches when it comes to expressing my feelings. Over time, we learned from each other. I taught her that sometimes, a little delicacy in explaining things and she taught me that sometimes, you gotta run through a muthafuckas face for them to take the hint. We were also each other’s first kiss, which is how we first realized that we might not be lesbians or demisexuals (but that’s a different story that Ariel would have to tell herself). She is my Ride-or-Die and I am hers. So when I say that one of these days, I am going to have to fight my best friend because of her bullshit, know that I say that with love. Also know that she reads this before it ever hits the internet, and leaves notes in the margin when I leave her snide comments.

But, really bestie. You and I got beef, no Big Mac.

So, we decided that movie night was going to be Wednesday, a day that I had already decided I was going to work from home, like, a month ago. Ariel and I hang out earlier in the day, where she decides to give me more non-information about the guy she is bringing over; he just left a really long relationship and he’s just looking to get out there again, meet new people. She made it sound like the guy was a divorced dad of seven. She wouldn't tell me if I met him before, how old he was, not one telling detail. It's not that I don't trust my friend to set me up, but her reluctance to share any information with me is suspect. But instead of pushing her to tell me more, I let it go (she tends to spill the beans with a little more ease if she is not being badgered for it).

“Wear that green slouchy sweater and skinny jeans.” What. A. Douche. But, after setting up an indoor campfire and ordering a couple of pizzas, I decide to just go for it. What's the worst that can happen? So, when Ariel walked back through my door with Nathan and Luke, I really thought I was gonna have to kill her.

“I’m really sorry,” he whispers, eyes downcast. “She told me not to tell.”

“You would have told me to just stay at home,” she whines, stamping her foot for good measure. “You were having a bad time, and you were gonna shut me out-”

“I just needed a few days, you red-headed nuisance,” I screech, throwing a stray marshmallow at her for good measure. “Helena says-”

“Whatever, I'm here now,” she mocks, stuffing the marshmallow into her mouth, “And I'm not leaving, so let's get it on.” She takes the pizza boxes into the living room and Nathan grabs drinks, an apologetic smile on his face. I groan out loud and I hear some chuckle.

“Has she always been like this,” Luke asks, moving to stand next to me. “She seems… forceful.”

“She is currently operating at a two,” I inform him, which makes him laugh again. “She gets quite nasty when she doesn't get her way sometimes.”

“Bitch, you aren't quiet!” Luke laughs even louder at Ariel's statement, leaning back and clutching his stomach as if he was trying to keep his stomach in. I roll my eyes and grab the s'mores tray and head to the couch. Ariel had already chosen a movie (Penelope, naturally) and was sprawled over Nathan, like a starfish clinging to a rock. I sit in the middle of the couch, bracing my feet against the coffee table, and Luke plops down beside me, wrapping his arm behind me on the couch.

“Stop. Saying. The words, you weirdo.” Without looking in her direction, I swing a throw pillow at her head a few times before it slips from my hand onto the floor. Out of the of my eye, I see Nathan peppering kisses all over Ariel’s face.

“Are you okay?” Luke concerning tone matched with Ariel and Nathan’s slurping just remind me further that I really did need to be alone this week. Luke moves his arm and pulls out his phone to start texting.

“I'll be right back,” I choke out. I hate this, the crying part. I managed to avoid it over the weekend and I thought for sure I was out of the words. But, no. Here I am, holding back tears because of crushing… whatever. I just sit on my bed and take deep breaths. All I need is for the shakiness to go away. My phone vibrates but I ignore it, putting my hands out in front of me to will myself to calm down. I take a deep breath and it vibrates again. Again. Again. And I am certain it's the Concord Snake, asking me about my puff piece progress, because that's the kind of day I am having.

So… not the Snake, and not unpleasant, as I previously thought. There's a tentative knock at the door and Luke peaks his head through before forcing his whole body through the opening.

“I don't know how to tell you this,” he starts slowly, shoving his hands in his pockets, “but you might need to get a new couch.” I shrug, focusing on trying to calm the lump in my throat. “Can I help?” I just nod, and he climbs into my bed, grabbing my hands and pulling me back against his chest. He exaggerated his slow breathing so that I could match it, wrapping our arms around me for good measure. It didn't take long for the lump to sink to a comfortable position, and for my urge to shed tears to be all but eliminated. I try to sit up a little better against him and he flexes involuntary before relaxing again.

“You smell like tea.” A new panic rises inside of me. Who says that to someone they barely know, you weirdo! He chuckles and sighs. “Sorry. It's just… unexpected for a guy.”

“Expecting Axe and B.O.?”

“I mean, that is how your kind smells most days.” He laughs out loud, leaning his whole body back and taking me with him. “It's true!” Before he can reply, my door flies open and Ariel marches in, hands on her hips.

“You guys left us out there,” she puts, her bottom lip quivering for good measure. “I thought you loved us.”

“Not enough to watch you fuck on the couch, babe,” I whine right back. “Porn is free, I don't need to be traumatized.” Luke can barely contain himself now, clutching himself as if he is trying to find a hidden stash of oxygen on his person.

“Whatever,” she scoffs, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “We gotta go anyway. Our Uber is here.” I walk them to the door and Ariel gives me a ridiculous hug, swaying me back and forth. Nathan just gives me a one armed hug, quietly thanking me for inviting them. I reach out to Luke to shake his hand, and he turns it over to give the back of my hand a quick peck. If I was as white as Ariel is, my face would be ketchup red right now. Ariel rolls her eyes at his antics and pulls a mesmerized Nathan after her to the elevator.

“I'll text you later,” Luke calls out as he tries to catch up with them.